Sometimes relationships aren't meant to stand the test of time and in tennis it's no different.
I've found myself having to polish off that eon-old speech that starts, "Well, it's not you. It's me..." Lately, a series of tennis habits have left me physically and mentally drained. Instead of looking forward to hitting sessions, I was beginning to dread them. Instead of looking forward to competing against a certain team or opponent, I felt apprehensive. Packing for a tournament, something I used to do days in advance, was done begrudgingly hours before departure time.
We've all had doubles partners were you just don't seem to click. Those are the partnerships easy to walk away from. Things never seemed like the good fit of a perfect pair of jeans, so it's easy to move on.
But there are other partnerships, associations, obligations, that make walking away difficult, where one of the people involved isn't as quick to realize that it is time to move on. Several of my tennis buddies have recently confessed to me, "I don't really like hitting with her/him, but I don't want to hurt their feelings." In theory, the honesty is the best policy, but who wants to hear; you cheat at line calls when it doesn't matter, so I don't want to hit with you. You're cool, but your mom is a psychopath and if she yells through the fence one more time from her bird-dogging position, I am going to purposely miss-hit a tennis ball right at her big mouth. Or, I would hit with you, but you coaching me when you just picked up a racquet three days ago isn't working for me. Or, if you can't say something sympathetic after a loss, then GO AWAY!
It's taken me a long time to realize that what I need out of a tennis relationship is just as important as what the other person needs. It should be symbiotic. There are people I love playing doubles with. Win or lose on the court, I leave feeling like I've had the time of my life. One of my favorite doubles partners, and I have many, is a teenager from Chicago. I strive to be like this thirteen-year old, who plays her ass off on the court yet is able to wipe the memories of a loss away with one swipe of a towel. At some point, her skills, already light years ahead of mine, will outgrow our partnership. I think we both realize that, but for now, it is fun, what it should be. We got routed our last match together, which was reminiscent of our first match together. The ones in between had become competitive and fun, so much so that I drove to Columbus to play a tourney with her where our first round opponents were far more accomplished than we were. But playing with her has been a blast.
On the flip side, there's a partner I've played with once. And it was a nightmare. I don't want to play with this partner ever again. I don't want to try to work it out. I don't want it to get better. I just don't want to play doubles with this partner. But instead of saying that, I've made excuses. (I'm focusing on singles. Playing singles and doubles with be too taxing on my delicate respiratory system. Playing doubles throws off my singles game.)
Tennis should be fun. If it's not fun, why do it? For all of it's costs and exerted energy and frustrating moments, if it's not fun, why do it?
For the rest of my 2010 season, my goal is to put the fun back in tennis. I'll let you guys know how it turns out.
Stay tuned,
KS
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
Returning Home
Yesterday was the biggest disappointment I think I've ever had in tennis and my greatest accomplishment. I played and lost the third place championship match at the National Women's Indoor Tournament in Sacramento, CA.
It has been a long time since I felt that devastated after a loss and of course, my exit from the court couldn't have been quicker. I was up 3-0 in the first set. I was hitting the ball as well as I've ever hit the ball and then, as tends to happen to me at times, I decided to play cautious, which cost me the match. It's weird how even though that is my tendency and even though my part of my mind knows that is not a good strategy the part of my mind which controls my body totally decides to ignore reason. I am working on this and might, soon, enlist the help of a trained sports psychologist.
But it only took a few seconds to be reminded by everyone who helped me get to CA, that it was okay. That rarely does success come on the first try. That I did try when so many others are too chicken to. And that fourth place isn't something horrible that should have me reduced to endless tears.
Thank you, to all of you who believed in me and didn't laugh when I told you that I was going to play a national tournament, someone who'd never played as a child and who'd learned 60 percent of what she knew about tennis by reading books. For a second when I was on the court, I felt alone. And I never felt that way before because I had always traveled with people who were quick to show me encouragement. Without that, I had to reach down and try to remember that there are so many of you back home in Michigan (where trust me, they are laughing at us in CA, wondering how in the world do we play tennis in foul-weather Michigan), believing in my and wishing me success.
I annoyed Mark in the weeks coming to the tournament, "If I don't win any matches, will you think that I failed? Or that it was a wasted trip?"
Always quick to reassure, he always answered with his own question, "Will you think it was a wasted trip?"
The absolute best part was that I played a match with a chair umpire, who announced me and where I was from. He called the score and corrected calls and I felt so much like a champion. If only they would have provided ball kids, I think I would have been in tennis heaven.
So, no. I don't think it was a wasted trip.
Stay tuned...(Because I think there is a national clay tourney coming up : )
KS
It has been a long time since I felt that devastated after a loss and of course, my exit from the court couldn't have been quicker. I was up 3-0 in the first set. I was hitting the ball as well as I've ever hit the ball and then, as tends to happen to me at times, I decided to play cautious, which cost me the match. It's weird how even though that is my tendency and even though my part of my mind knows that is not a good strategy the part of my mind which controls my body totally decides to ignore reason. I am working on this and might, soon, enlist the help of a trained sports psychologist.
But it only took a few seconds to be reminded by everyone who helped me get to CA, that it was okay. That rarely does success come on the first try. That I did try when so many others are too chicken to. And that fourth place isn't something horrible that should have me reduced to endless tears.
Thank you, to all of you who believed in me and didn't laugh when I told you that I was going to play a national tournament, someone who'd never played as a child and who'd learned 60 percent of what she knew about tennis by reading books. For a second when I was on the court, I felt alone. And I never felt that way before because I had always traveled with people who were quick to show me encouragement. Without that, I had to reach down and try to remember that there are so many of you back home in Michigan (where trust me, they are laughing at us in CA, wondering how in the world do we play tennis in foul-weather Michigan), believing in my and wishing me success.
I annoyed Mark in the weeks coming to the tournament, "If I don't win any matches, will you think that I failed? Or that it was a wasted trip?"
Always quick to reassure, he always answered with his own question, "Will you think it was a wasted trip?"
The absolute best part was that I played a match with a chair umpire, who announced me and where I was from. He called the score and corrected calls and I felt so much like a champion. If only they would have provided ball kids, I think I would have been in tennis heaven.
So, no. I don't think it was a wasted trip.
Stay tuned...(Because I think there is a national clay tourney coming up : )
KS
Saturday, May 1, 2010
First Match
OMG! I am in CA playing in a National Tournament. Though the draw is small because evidently women between the ages of 30 and 35 have better things to do, I am so glad I entered.
I am thinking that somehow my reputation for a meanie preceded me. My first round opponent withdraw as my plane was touching down, so bye in the first round. Yea, me!
I was disappointed because I knew the competition would be tough, but I really wanted to kick off my USTA season with the best tennis possible and I thought I would be able to get that in a national tournament.
It annoys me when people roll their eyes at my Pollyanna-outlook, but the fact that my opponent dropping out meant that I would face the number one seed in my first match, was not as earth-shattering as you might think. I am very pragmatic about mostly everything and the thing is, I did EVERYTHING I could to prepare for this match. I ran when I hate running. I worked out when I didn't want to. I played tennis against some rather cocky and rude Big Bangers who enjoyed kicking my butt whenever I would allow. So the only thing I could do here was my best. I couldn't have done anymore.
And so it was proven in my first match which I lost 1-6, 0-6.
The woman I played was a player ranked 5.5, which as far as I can tell, they rank her that as a warning to everyone who comes near her on the court. Kind of like a high voltage sign is there for your protection.
She was a very experienced player who'd spent ten years on the pro circuit. There's always something to take out of the match and what I found was that I wasn't out played. I could hold my own. I aced her a few more times that she aced me. She blazed winners by me at the same speed I blazed them by her. The difference was her experience. She seemed to be that smart kid in class, who has all the answers before the teacher ever asks the questions.
But I wasn't outplayed.
Back when I first picked up a racquet and there was nothing about my game worth watching, a teaching pro told me that I would be hard pressed to find another woman who could outhit me. He said that I had the power and once I learned the game I would be great.
I've believed that all this time, but this match was like a confirmation.
At any cost, I play doubles today. Hopefully, it will be fun. I have not played doubles really with my travelling partner so all I can hope for is fun, to work on some things and to get some more tennis in.
Tomorrow morning I play for the third place bronze ball. My opponent is a psycho who tried to cheat her way through her semi final match this morning, so I look forward to her theatrics.
Stay tuned...
KS
I am thinking that somehow my reputation for a meanie preceded me. My first round opponent withdraw as my plane was touching down, so bye in the first round. Yea, me!
I was disappointed because I knew the competition would be tough, but I really wanted to kick off my USTA season with the best tennis possible and I thought I would be able to get that in a national tournament.
It annoys me when people roll their eyes at my Pollyanna-outlook, but the fact that my opponent dropping out meant that I would face the number one seed in my first match, was not as earth-shattering as you might think. I am very pragmatic about mostly everything and the thing is, I did EVERYTHING I could to prepare for this match. I ran when I hate running. I worked out when I didn't want to. I played tennis against some rather cocky and rude Big Bangers who enjoyed kicking my butt whenever I would allow. So the only thing I could do here was my best. I couldn't have done anymore.
And so it was proven in my first match which I lost 1-6, 0-6.
The woman I played was a player ranked 5.5, which as far as I can tell, they rank her that as a warning to everyone who comes near her on the court. Kind of like a high voltage sign is there for your protection.
She was a very experienced player who'd spent ten years on the pro circuit. There's always something to take out of the match and what I found was that I wasn't out played. I could hold my own. I aced her a few more times that she aced me. She blazed winners by me at the same speed I blazed them by her. The difference was her experience. She seemed to be that smart kid in class, who has all the answers before the teacher ever asks the questions.
But I wasn't outplayed.
Back when I first picked up a racquet and there was nothing about my game worth watching, a teaching pro told me that I would be hard pressed to find another woman who could outhit me. He said that I had the power and once I learned the game I would be great.
I've believed that all this time, but this match was like a confirmation.
At any cost, I play doubles today. Hopefully, it will be fun. I have not played doubles really with my travelling partner so all I can hope for is fun, to work on some things and to get some more tennis in.
Tomorrow morning I play for the third place bronze ball. My opponent is a psycho who tried to cheat her way through her semi final match this morning, so I look forward to her theatrics.
Stay tuned...
KS
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Playing for a Party
I leave for Sacramento in two days. I am so excited. The draws are set to be posted tmr and I am anxious to see.
Realistically, my goal is to finish in the top three in the singles draw. But now, I have extra incentive. One of the ladies in one of my tennis clinic is throwing me a party if I win! Woohoo! Sweet! It reminds me of getting ice cream when you brought home a great report card!
I still have racquets to string, but should get them done in a few hours. The closer I get to Thursday, the more excited I feel. I can stop worrying so much about what-ifs as the little details are being worked out, like who's taking us to the airport and picking us up, everything being packed that needs to be packed, etc.
Soon, all that will be left for me to do is to get on the plane!
Stay tuned,
KS
Realistically, my goal is to finish in the top three in the singles draw. But now, I have extra incentive. One of the ladies in one of my tennis clinic is throwing me a party if I win! Woohoo! Sweet! It reminds me of getting ice cream when you brought home a great report card!
I still have racquets to string, but should get them done in a few hours. The closer I get to Thursday, the more excited I feel. I can stop worrying so much about what-ifs as the little details are being worked out, like who's taking us to the airport and picking us up, everything being packed that needs to be packed, etc.
Soon, all that will be left for me to do is to get on the plane!
Stay tuned,
KS
Friday, April 23, 2010
Six Days To Go...
I ran into issues stringing my racquets on Tuesday. Rushing to string is never a good idea. The more I rushed, the more mistakes I made and so, I ended up only having one racquet strung and I wasted a whole set of string on another racquet. I have been experimenting with more durable strings while trying to find something that wouldn't aggravate the tendinitis in my wrist so much. For now, I have settled on Technifibre Black Code in 18g. The thin string has not been so bad on my wrist and I love the bite I get on the ball from using something this thin. Despite its thinness, it is remarkably durable. I am able to play a three to four weeks on one set before they break and they maintain tension pretty well.
At any cost, I can't seem to find that string locally, so I am ordering online and waiting for express delivery. I will probably spend Tuesday morning stringing.
I've been playing a ton of tennis this week. The best performance was beating the pro at my tennis club in a tiebreaker. I won 7-5, so it was close, but I was never behind and I played with confidence. I have been training so hard, it was great to feel like it was paying off. Everything came together for that tiebreaker. I didn't miss one return. I didn't over hit the ball. I was balanced. I was patient!
I played a Suburban tennis match this morning. My partner and I won both rounds; the first 10-0 and the second 9-2. I love how I am able to get "up" to compete. Sometimes practices are discouraging for me. I am always working on something new or working to improve something and while I am learning, there's always the frustration with not being able to see the results. Well the last few days, I've been able to see results.
I am so hoping to take that success with me to CA.
Stay tuned,
KS
At any cost, I can't seem to find that string locally, so I am ordering online and waiting for express delivery. I will probably spend Tuesday morning stringing.
I've been playing a ton of tennis this week. The best performance was beating the pro at my tennis club in a tiebreaker. I won 7-5, so it was close, but I was never behind and I played with confidence. I have been training so hard, it was great to feel like it was paying off. Everything came together for that tiebreaker. I didn't miss one return. I didn't over hit the ball. I was balanced. I was patient!
I played a Suburban tennis match this morning. My partner and I won both rounds; the first 10-0 and the second 9-2. I love how I am able to get "up" to compete. Sometimes practices are discouraging for me. I am always working on something new or working to improve something and while I am learning, there's always the frustration with not being able to see the results. Well the last few days, I've been able to see results.
I am so hoping to take that success with me to CA.
Stay tuned,
KS
Monday, April 12, 2010
Big Bangers
It is not two and a half weeks until I leave for Sacramento for the National 30s Indoor Tournament. The last month, I have been going back and forth between being excited and being super nervous. I think now that the plane tickets are purchased, the hotel and car (the responsibility of travel partner) hopefully is or is being taken care of, I think I can relax a little more.
All I have left to do is play. With the Michigan weather finally somewhat warm enough for me to get outside, I have been playing more with practice partners I call Big Bangers because of how hard they hit the ball and most of them use the Luxilon brand of "Big Banger" string typical for guys who hit as hard as they do.
After what seems like millionth hour of playing tennis with some of these guys, I began to feel a little discouraged last week. For awhile, I had a good mix of hitting with them and they hitting with people more around my level of play. Mentally this was good; get my butt kicked for two hours and then go be competitive later in my own skill class.
Most of March, however, I almost exclusively hit with the Big Bangers and at some point, I really began to hate them!
Well, maybe not hate...
I did hate that I seemed to be getting aced three times a game!
I did hate that my best serves were getting blasted back at me with NO regard to my sensitive feelings.
I did hate that whenever I went to the net behind a lackluster approach shot, some of the Big Bangers tried to make me pee my pants my taking aim at my head.
I did hate that one of this Big Bangers pointed out that I was only winning about 0.3 games a set.
But then I resumed hitting with my normal practice partners and I began to see the light. It was like that church moment in the Blues Brothers where Elroy realizes the answer is "The Band".
I found myself reading the court better. Without the ball coming back at me at 170 mph, I could see weakness in my opponents game and pick them apart. I was able to dictate play more. Playing with the Big Bangers made me take advantage of every opportunity to win a point, knowing there wouldn't be many chances. And that carried over to other tennis and I found myself more dominant.
I am so looking forward to nationals now.
I have racquets to string in the next week, a couple of mixed doubles matches to play, and some clinics to attend.
This week I lay I start laying off of the weight training, but continuing with the cardio and most importantly, PLAYING, PLAYING, PLAYING!
Incidentally, I played a mxd doubles match on Saturday against a 68 year old woman that I think I am going to have to honorarily dub a Big Banger.
This lady is everything I want to be as a tennis player when I am that age. She was ripping returns back our way like she was demonstrating "How to Burn Someone With a Return".
That's it for now,
Stay tuned,
KS
All I have left to do is play. With the Michigan weather finally somewhat warm enough for me to get outside, I have been playing more with practice partners I call Big Bangers because of how hard they hit the ball and most of them use the Luxilon brand of "Big Banger" string typical for guys who hit as hard as they do.
After what seems like millionth hour of playing tennis with some of these guys, I began to feel a little discouraged last week. For awhile, I had a good mix of hitting with them and they hitting with people more around my level of play. Mentally this was good; get my butt kicked for two hours and then go be competitive later in my own skill class.
Most of March, however, I almost exclusively hit with the Big Bangers and at some point, I really began to hate them!
Well, maybe not hate...
I did hate that I seemed to be getting aced three times a game!
I did hate that my best serves were getting blasted back at me with NO regard to my sensitive feelings.
I did hate that whenever I went to the net behind a lackluster approach shot, some of the Big Bangers tried to make me pee my pants my taking aim at my head.
I did hate that one of this Big Bangers pointed out that I was only winning about 0.3 games a set.
But then I resumed hitting with my normal practice partners and I began to see the light. It was like that church moment in the Blues Brothers where Elroy realizes the answer is "The Band".
I found myself reading the court better. Without the ball coming back at me at 170 mph, I could see weakness in my opponents game and pick them apart. I was able to dictate play more. Playing with the Big Bangers made me take advantage of every opportunity to win a point, knowing there wouldn't be many chances. And that carried over to other tennis and I found myself more dominant.
I am so looking forward to nationals now.
I have racquets to string in the next week, a couple of mixed doubles matches to play, and some clinics to attend.
This week I lay I start laying off of the weight training, but continuing with the cardio and most importantly, PLAYING, PLAYING, PLAYING!
Incidentally, I played a mxd doubles match on Saturday against a 68 year old woman that I think I am going to have to honorarily dub a Big Banger.
This lady is everything I want to be as a tennis player when I am that age. She was ripping returns back our way like she was demonstrating "How to Burn Someone With a Return".
That's it for now,
Stay tuned,
KS
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Stinking Thinking
38 days and counting...
38 days until the 30s National Indoor tournament.
Although my days have primarily been filled with training and tennis (aside from a couple of weeks where asthma decided to kick my butt), I am beginning to feel less confident.
I am often reminded to not do "stinkin' thinkin'", Dr. Phil's favorite saying when someone has bad thoughts for no good reason, but sometimes, it is so hard not to.
I lose a match to a person I shouldn't or even struggle with and win ugly against a player of lessor talent and I begin to think maybe I don't have the talent to compete for a Gold Ball. But then I will have an amazing match and I think that I can't wait for the end of April.
All of my practices are purposeful. Beforehand, goals are written down and despite results, I try very hard to stick to the plan. For example, win or lose, a goal might be to serve and volley, every opportunity I have. So at the end of a practice, when I have served and volleyed more times that Pete Sampras, himself, why am I disappointed with a set score of 3-6?
Stinking Thinking...
A goal of mine has been to hit with more pace. Too often, I don't go for shots that I make all day in practices and clinics. In matches, I am content to moonball to my opponent or push the ball back at the person who is pushing at me. So, in my first outside session of the year, when a well-intended, but very misguided, acquaintance reminded me to just get the ball back against a guy that routinely stomps me and waits for slow sitters, why did I allow myself to falter, to go away from my plan?
Stinking Thinking...
So, my goal for the next month is to be mentally tougher. When a psycho across the net from me, asks me for the millionth time whether I am sure of a call, I am going to "chill". When my opponent, who has brought her own lounge chair to the court so that her changeovers are only missing a pina colada with a little pink umbrella, I am going to "chill". When the person on the other side of the net decides to go fetch a third ball from another court before telling me my first serve is out, I am going to "chill" and then blow her away with a second serve ace!
Focus! No Stinking Thinking...
Stay tuned,
KS
38 days until the 30s National Indoor tournament.
Although my days have primarily been filled with training and tennis (aside from a couple of weeks where asthma decided to kick my butt), I am beginning to feel less confident.
I am often reminded to not do "stinkin' thinkin'", Dr. Phil's favorite saying when someone has bad thoughts for no good reason, but sometimes, it is so hard not to.
I lose a match to a person I shouldn't or even struggle with and win ugly against a player of lessor talent and I begin to think maybe I don't have the talent to compete for a Gold Ball. But then I will have an amazing match and I think that I can't wait for the end of April.
All of my practices are purposeful. Beforehand, goals are written down and despite results, I try very hard to stick to the plan. For example, win or lose, a goal might be to serve and volley, every opportunity I have. So at the end of a practice, when I have served and volleyed more times that Pete Sampras, himself, why am I disappointed with a set score of 3-6?
Stinking Thinking...
A goal of mine has been to hit with more pace. Too often, I don't go for shots that I make all day in practices and clinics. In matches, I am content to moonball to my opponent or push the ball back at the person who is pushing at me. So, in my first outside session of the year, when a well-intended, but very misguided, acquaintance reminded me to just get the ball back against a guy that routinely stomps me and waits for slow sitters, why did I allow myself to falter, to go away from my plan?
Stinking Thinking...
So, my goal for the next month is to be mentally tougher. When a psycho across the net from me, asks me for the millionth time whether I am sure of a call, I am going to "chill". When my opponent, who has brought her own lounge chair to the court so that her changeovers are only missing a pina colada with a little pink umbrella, I am going to "chill". When the person on the other side of the net decides to go fetch a third ball from another court before telling me my first serve is out, I am going to "chill" and then blow her away with a second serve ace!
Focus! No Stinking Thinking...
Stay tuned,
KS
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