Returning Home

Yesterday was the biggest disappointment I think I've ever had in tennis and my greatest accomplishment. I played and lost the third place championship match at the National Women's Indoor Tournament in Sacramento, CA.

It has been a long time since I felt that devastated after a loss and of course, my exit from the court couldn't have been quicker. I was up 3-0 in the first set. I was hitting the ball as well as I've ever hit the ball and then, as tends to happen to me at times, I decided to play cautious, which cost me the match. It's weird how even though that is my tendency and even though my part of my mind knows that is not a good strategy the part of my mind which controls my body totally decides to ignore reason. I am working on this and might, soon, enlist the help of a trained sports psychologist.

But it only took a few seconds to be reminded by everyone who helped me get to CA, that it was okay. That rarely does success come on the first try. That I did try when so many others are too chicken to. And that fourth place isn't something horrible that should have me reduced to endless tears.

Thank you, to all of you who believed in me and didn't laugh when I told you that I was going to play a national tournament, someone who'd never played as a child and who'd learned 60 percent of what she knew about tennis by reading books. For a second when I was on the court, I felt alone. And I never felt that way before because I had always traveled with people who were quick to show me encouragement. Without that, I had to reach down and try to remember that there are so many of you back home in Michigan (where trust me, they are laughing at us in CA, wondering how in the world do we play tennis in foul-weather Michigan), believing in my and wishing me success.

I annoyed Mark in the weeks coming to the tournament, "If I don't win any matches, will you think that I failed? Or that it was a wasted trip?"

Always quick to reassure, he always answered with his own question, "Will you think it was a wasted trip?"

The absolute best part was that I played a match with a chair umpire, who announced me and where I was from. He called the score and corrected calls and I felt so much like a champion. If only they would have provided ball kids, I think I would have been in tennis heaven.

So, no. I don't think it was a wasted trip.

Stay tuned...(Because I think there is a national clay tourney coming up : )

KS