Okay, so it's been awhile since I blogged.
I needed to take some time away from tennis. Not that I actually felt burnt out, but I could see it happening if I kept up at the insane pace I did this summer. I committed to very little tennis-wise and the things I did commit to, I did so under substitute circumstances. That way, if I did get to the point where I was rolling my eyes or groaning whenever I looked at my calendar and saw that there was tennis scheduled for that day.
And it worked. For the first time in a long time, I actually was very excited about my hockey season. I started running again, both to stay in shape and to outdo this guy from Denver who keeps popping up in all my Nike running challenges and talking trash. During this hiatus for tennis, I played now and then outside, trying to soak up the last few days of good Michigan weather. I attended a few tennis where my primary goal was laughing with my friends and seeing if I could hit a tweener or just how high I could launch a moonball. Thoughts about going to the next National 30s tournament, plans I was pretty committed to at the beginning of the summer, faded to the back of my mind.
I settled into a very needed routine, a balanced one. Getting up shortly after my boyfriend left for work. Running, alternating between long run days and sprint workouts at the local high school's track. (Not the very local high school because there's a conspiracy to keep the southern half of the township fat and lazy by denying them access to the track and tennis courts for exercise. But perhaps that topic deserves it's own post.) Cleaning the house and eating breakfast and then settling into an afternoon of writing.
The routine brought me much needed sanity and most of my life, especially lately, I think my whole life's purpose is to find the fountain of sanity. At any cost, for the first time, in a few years, things felt okay.
My uncle died this past Saturday. And although I just met him and the rest of my mom's family three years ago, I found myself as reflective as I was when I finally came to some sort of terms with my dad's death. I guess death causes you to think about things. The biggest thing I took from my own father's death is that I didn't want to wait for things. I wanted to do them or make them happen if there were obstacles in my way of doing them.
I write because I want to know that if I dropped dead tomorrow, I did so trying for something I always wanted to do. People say to me all the time, I've always wanted to write a book. When the kids grow up... When I get some time off of work... When I retire...
You've heard me say that my favorite quote is by George Eliot: "It's never too late to become what you might have been."
Well, that's why I play tennis despite picking up a racquet merely ten years ago. I am going to be that national champion that I could have been. Sure, it won't be as a college student. But I will win a national championship.
At any cost, I have decided that I am going to the Clay Court Nationals at the end of the month. Too many times, I focus so much on what is not going on with me, I fail to acknowledge the things that are going on; the support of Mark, the encouragement of friends, the extra time and attention so many people have shown me to help me realize my dreams.
And I think to myself, what am I waiting for?
Stay tuned...
KS
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