Just Don't Do It

I've avoided wearing Nike shoes on the court for almost ten years now. As drawn as I am to their awesome color selection for their stock shoes and the fact, that I do believe if I rock the swag, I can be like (Mike, Serena, Roy, Adrian or Alexander), their shoes have never fit by feet as comfortably and as sturdily as a pair of Barricades.

But six months ago, I succumb to my Nike fantasies and bought a pair of pretty black, white, and pink, (Mmm... Good & Plenty) Air Max Cage. I LOVED...

the way they looked...

But that's another Blog post. I took a chance on Nike because of their Durability Guarantee. As quickly as I wear through shoes, I figured, I would look good for four months and the instep aches and Plantar Fasciitis wouldn't be the death of me as long as I was able to replace them.

So, the 30th of November, exactly six months after I purchased the shoes, I called the Nike office. It was a Saturday and they were closed.

So, I called, Monday, the 2nd.

And it was too late.

There were sorry, but unable to help me.

Admittedly, this is my fault. I am used to the generosity of the Barricade Guarantee who allows for a grace period. Just in case you want to hit one more time in the shoes.

In order to take advantage of Nike's Warranty, you have to call 1-800-344-6453 (way before the sixth month), receive a claim number, return the shoes, the warranty card and the original receipt to:

NIKE RLC

Attn: Air Max Cage

3552 Avenue of Commerce

Memphis, TN 38125

I have friends, who play tennis, who put holes in their shoes when they are grinding it out on the baseline or hitting the big serve. And I have tennis friends who have tried to utilize the warranty. Twelve, exactly. Twelve different people attempting to utilize the warranty on their shoes and so far, no one has seen this mystical "Product Voucher". Imagine those quotes are air quotes because something that rarely seen doesn't deserve actually quotes...

Nike works hard to duck out of their warranty. If you read the warranty card, instead of reading like the instructions of how to return their product like the Adidas Barricade Guarantee. No, it reads more like a caveat, a disclaimer that if you violate any one of the ten bullets, you will be denied. Never mind the money you spent on a pair of shoes that wouldn't last wheelchair players the full six months. Never mind that you may be fully brainwashed by the power of Nike and will spend money to buy new shoes anyway. Never mind the fact that you may be a long time customer.

What I love most about the Adidas Barricade is that it gives me a break. I easily buy four pair of tennis shoes a year. And I wear through them and the replacements. The replacements have never caused me to not buy a pair of shoes. If anything, it made me feel more confident to keep supporting the company.

Nike, on the other hand, we are over. You are like Sheldon Cooper and his three strike rule, blindsiding your significant other when they thought things were going fine, by alerting them that they are, in fact, on thin ice. You are like the cool kid who went out with the unsuspecting plain girl on a dare. You are the judge, holding the gavel after he find out his wife is screwing the bailiff. My feelings are hurt and the only way I can express myself is in this poem...

Your shoes hurt my feet,

But I was in love,

I never noticed you suck,

Until you acted all above.

I'm going back to Adidas,

Your cruelness has rendered me mute,

But I'm still going to buy your clothes,

Cuz, OMG, your tennis skirts are totally cute.

(Don't judge me!)
KS